Creating Better Outcomes with Four Behaviors

Difficult conversations become easier with a clear framework. Four behaviors can change how a team operates and create a healthier workplace.

As a SWAT hostage negotiator trained by the FBI and at Harvard University, I resolved extreme conflicts. As a speaker and corporate trainer, I learned that the same principles apply at work. Missing one element can leave people unwelcome and disconnected.

The first requirement is courage. Delays let problems grow and create a toxic workplace that nobody enjoys. Leaders may say, “This isn’t a work issue” or “They need space” when someone is in crisis or needs attention. Avoidance can look compassionate, but often reflects anxiety, stress, and fear. Choose courage when a conversation is required.

The right mindset begins with respect. Agreement is difficult when someone feels disrespected. If you wonder whether respect is earned, return to the goal: resolution is not about ego, but an acceptable outcome. When you tolerate disrespect – or encourage it because someone is “them” rather than “us” – culture deteriorates.

Choose courage when a conversation is required.

The best leaders communicate skillfully. Poor communication creates a negative workplace culture.

When information is incomplete, the mind fills gaps, often with the worst explanation. Because the brain detects threats, uncertainty fuels gossip and self-protection. Clear communication prevents that spiral.

Four areas create a positive impression: active listening, strategic communication, mindful delivery, and effective body language.

On my first day of FBI-led hostage negotiation training, I expected techniques that made anyone comply. Instead, we learned eight active-listening skills. Negotiation power comes from information and options; neither develops if we cannot listen skillfully.

Choose how to communicate. Text and email convey content; calls add delivery; video or face-to-face talks reveal non-verbal signals. Do not default to what is easiest. Choose the channel that serves the conversation.

In a SWAT negotiation, another negotiator coaches me on rate, rhythm, pressure, volume, and tone. Workplace leaders also lose awareness of delivery under stress. Be disciplined in what you say and how you say it.

What people see can outweigh what they hear. Posture, gestures, and facial expressions matter, especially when they contradict words. Observe others’ signals and manage your own to reinforce the message. Failure in any area of communication damages trust and culture.

The final behavior we need to avoid is creating disconnection. Influence begins with connection: we rarely take advice from strangers, but listen when we believe someone cares about us, our team, and our organization. Short, consistent, rapport-building conversations make difficult feedback easier to hear as care rather than attack.

Leaders say they are too busy to connect. Yet in my courses, two-minute active-listening exercises create a bond quickly. Give every direct report at least two minutes each week; that small investment could transform a team’s culture.

Verbal influence is learned through courage, respect, communication, and connection. Professionals often fear difficult conversations because nobody taught them how to handle them. This framework offers practical tools for better outcomes and a healthy, productive workplace.